Tag Archives: accomplishments

It’s Not Just About the Destination


“It’s not just about the destination” sums up my thoughts while traveling to escape the noise and fast pace of the city and my work-business life. It is not to escape who I am or what I love to do… my passion and commitment are firm, although, at times, I doubt the strength I have to continue on certain paths. Plagued by self-assessment, as anyone might be while trying to navigate the rough roads of every day, I often wonder if I should just run off on some other trail–change my direction–change my destination. Then, I remind myself… it’s not just about the destination because, in fact, we all end up the same place anyway. It is all about how you see your journey there and I am constantly reminding myself to stay in the moment without worry about what happens in the end. Therefore, I do realize that I see things somewhat differently depending upon my situation and location. This trip was about certain goals, but everything in between, before, and after is up to fate and fortune. What you make of a day is really what thought you put into it and the effort afforded to enjoy every moment. It will all be there when you return, so to worry about “what to do” or “what about” or “what if” is a waste of such a beautiful surrounding.

I am happy I am able to reflect on the time I take away–this time we were really tired at the end of the day and barely had supper and did a few mundane tasks before sleep claimed us. There is something about the mountain air and being out in the beauty of nature that fills you with enough that you are pleasantly exhausted. My knees couldn’t help but remind me that I did more than usual even though I try to do it on purpose, whenever I can, in order to claim every minute of the day in action. To bed early–one would think we’d stay up late writing… however, a tired body won out over a determined mind this week.

Day One arrival was nice and early and we could even check into our hotel room and then go exploring on Wednesday. We took a trip to the Beaver Boardwalk–my daughter recommended it last trip, but we didn’t make it there. Going this time was a treat. What a beautiful nature spot in Hinton! Yes, we have our ponds and walkways here at home, but sorry, Sherwood Park, the most obvious thing missing is setting… I sometimes (well, often) wonder why I still live here with so much soul/spirit connection to the mountains. This park was the perfect way to spend a couple of hours, wandering the boardwalk through the marshes and beaver habitat, traipsing some closer-in trails, and taking a look-out post in the tower to admire the view. I say closer-in because I am not one to wander onto the forest trails–hiking was a younger days sport for me due to my limitations, ones I have accepted, and am able to push to some extent enjoyment of the activities. Also, there’s the fact that we are in wildlife territory and bears and cougars just don’t excite me up close and personal. From the truck window, I am a brave soul – not on foot, however.

Trips away with my dear friend, Mandy, make me appreciate her even more because of the similarities we have –I don’t have to try to keep up and do things I feel out of my comfort zone with… we match in many ways–our appreciation for nature and its fragility to human invasion; yet, the strength and majesty and power of it awes us in the same breath. I could travel the same roads and see the same sights each day or weekend or whatever, and still be in wonder at the amazing embrace of nature–the bold colors of plants, the cuteness of a baby animal, the calming peace of water and wind, the warmth of sun–even if it only peaked through clouds throughout most of our mid-week trip.

We never lost sight of the reason for our trip, although it was in the back of our minds as we connected with the precious moments of each opportunity. The Beaver Boardwalk was more than just walking through a nature setting–it was about stopping and appreciating the finer details of plants, trees, the view, the colors, the sounds, smells, and feel of it all on your soul. Nature caresses one’s spirit with renewing qualities to create a mood of relaxation and connection. There was no sign of any wildlife–other than a couple of birds and fish in the ponds. I wondered about the lack of waterfowl on the ponds… Mr. and Mrs. Beaver must have been relaxing in the shade of their studious home–we saw signs of them being around, of course, but no chance sighting of the animals.

Impressions of the place are best in point form, because that is how they hit you when you are in the moment:

  • The song of the red-wing blackbird
  • The amazing arrangement of wooden walkways over water
  • The variety of flora with bursts of color that stand out so vivid against the greenery
  • The sound and tempo of the wind through the trees as it rises and falls
  • Sun peeking through the overhead canopy in an otherwise dull cloudy sky
  • The man who looked at me funny for taking an overhead picture… yes, look up, too!
  • Wire mesh protecting perimeter trees from industrious beaver clearing crews
  • Signs giving information about the place: make less noise to see more wildlife or be aware and cautious and informed of bears, cougars, wolves… :O
  • Picking up a couple of interesting stones from the rock pathway to commemorate
  • The lookout tower and amazing view of the nearby mountains through the trees
  • Patterns in nature–ripples on the water, long grass blowing in the wind, piles of drift-water-worn limbs

My thoughts may not match anyone else except for those who have the same appreciation for the beauty and magnificence of nature. But, even in that similarity, there are personal differences. The photos I take are not ones that another may take as I look for the shot that appeals to me; I don’t take people pictures; I don’t do selfies. I want the essence of the place where I am–what attracts me, what speaks to me. To each their own.

The take-away for this activity–always invest in the time to enjoy “every precious moment,” as a friend posted. The emotions that grab me in the mountains are awe-inspiring, captivating, yet overwhelming, at the same time. The thought that this glorious world we live in surrounds us for so short a time in comparison to its own life span is one for self-contemplation. No matter what you believe, it’s what adds to a beautiful life–it’s not just about the destination.

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Define Yourself as a Writer

My passion and enthusiasm leads me astray. It will get to a point, though, that I must rein it in and tie it down, despite the ‘no fences’ rule. I wear several hats, of late, and it is no wonder that confusion plays it course upon my condition. I love my company and I love the people who have discovered the amazing way collaboration works. Supporting one another is truly the way to become better at what we do – it is the way to widen your perspective, cultivate new interests, define your goals – all of which allows us to plant sign posts with remarkable achievements along our writing life journey. But, if I do not write, I begin to feel discouraged, frustrated, sad… I need to write. It is as vital as air and as soothing a sunshine upon my face.

I read a great post shared by someone who walks the talk – she supports and encourages and I am so lucky to call her friend and confidant. The Writer’s Digest article talked about the October Platform Challenge… we all know how I love a challenge! So what better way to get myself out of a rut than to revisit the deepest part of my creativity. I am going to rediscover my muse and drag him/her screaming to the surface.

Day 1 Challenge – Define Yourself as a Writer 

This exercise is to identify and lay claim to all the things that make you a writer. Own it.

Name (as used in byline): Linda J. Pedley

Position(s): Owner/President of Dream Write Publishing Ltd * Co-founder/Director/Treasurer/Member/Volunteer of the Writers Foundation of Strathcona County * Business Management Coordinator for my day job at the Alberta Federation of REAs * Freelance Writer/Editor * Published Author * Artist & Illustrator * Truck Window Photographer

Skill(s): Creative writing * non-fiction writing * poetry * editing * book design * blogging and web site content writing * social media promotion and platform building * newsletters * business document writing including business plans, reports, business case proposals, government position papers * individual-team-community builder * teaching and mentoring * color and design * photography * art composition and basic lesson plans * computer use

Social media platforms (active): Facebook * LinkedIn * Google+ * Twitter

URL(s): wildhorse33.wordpress.com  / dreamwrite10.wordpress.com  / dreamwritepublishing.com  / strathconaconnect.com 

Accomplishments: BA General – Sociology Major/Political Science Minor from the University of Alberta * Author of several published novels: YA adventure series – A Journey of Brothers/A Journey of Truths/ A Journey of Desires, Power Struggle, Ode to the Bard – My Writing Life, and An Elizabethan Affair * Co-Author of Your Lifetime of Stories and From a Solitary Drop * Contributing Author to several compilations and/or anthologies including Christmas Chaos and Writing Prompt Journey * Awarded the Pride of Strathcona community award in Arts, Culture & History for our writers group, The Writers Foundation of Strathcona County, in 2011 * Awarded the Pride of Strathcona community award in Arts, Culture & History in 2012 for personal work in this category * Certificate in Article and Short Story Writing from Long Ridge Writers Group in the US  * Certificate of Participation in Writer’s Camp at Humber College, Toronto in 2004 * Effective Communications Certificate from Grant MacEwan College * Publisher of over 60 books and 5 years in business with Dream Write Publishing – a creative option for today’s writers to see their work in print.

Interests: Writing – all genres * art appreciation * travelling Alberta and driving in the mountains in my “Sunshine” Toyota FJ Cruiser * truck window photography * all things Shakespeare * coffee with close family members * sharing interests and good times with good friends * horses * spending time with my daughter watching favorite TV shows, drinking wine, or collaborating on work projects * drawing * computers * reading and having lots of books *

In one sentence, who am I? Linda J. Pedley is a writer who works her day job to pay the rent while dreaming of the things she could do if only she could just focus on the passion of creating and working page-deep in books every day.

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Writing and planning and all that goes with it…

To me, the statement “life goes on” is such a broad and general expression. It is a phrase comprised of words said as confirmation, in consolation, or for situations where we don’t know what else to say except to state the obvious… but it’s the truth and it does go on even if in a different way or a dramatically changed manner. We all have, at one time or another, experienced events that rock our world and change how we forever view it, leaving only memories, if we are so lucky. So as I move beyond the hold of raw grief into the confusing realm of memories and newly discovered freedoms, I work through the debris in the best way I can, dealing with the uncontrolled emotional outbursts and equally disturbing contented quiet, grasping in both instances, tangible objects for grounding or intangible feelings for comfort. I continue to do what I’ve always done – take on too much, keep too busy, and devise and  dream of all kinds of plans. It is the opposite of depression where one wants to do nothing… instead, I want to do everything. I want to feel happy, I want to experience the depths of love, the heights of exploration, the vastness of this journey – I want it all; I want to live. But, as with most things, even life takes some modicum of planning unless we are drawn to the up and whatever of spontaneity – totally acceptable, yes, but a scheduling nightmare when one is working, running a company and a volunteer organization, entertaining a renewed relationship, freelancing, connecting with friends and family, and spending valuable time with a daughter who will be moving out of town.

All acceptable. But all need planning and juggling (see this blogger’s post for more on the coping with the overwhelming as a writer). Even though there is an emptiness that will persist, I feel as if I can move beyond the past year’s stress and emotional strain, to look at having some fun and creating happiness for myself. The planned writer’s retreat in May was decided in the fall and looks to be a wondrous 3 day delve into writing and relaxation and inspiration. The getaway in April (Easter long weekend) is something that has been brewing and stirring inside of me… growing over time, spurred by need, driven by passion… and as if the gates were opened and I was offered the open field, my spirit will venture to the place where the wild horses run. Finding and booking accommodations in a B-and-B in the exact area was like serendipity – synchronicity at work. I always contend the things that work in that way were just meant to be… timing, it’s all about timing and taking time.

I know that accomplishments lie ahead – I welcome them and strive toward them. But I also know, many of those achievements will be bittersweet as I share silently with one who will be forever missed. I think about how she would have loved to hear about all these adventures and how she would have worried as we ventured off on each and every one of them – she was like that and it is something I try not to do when my daughter is away, despite her claim that I am always worrying… (I’m not. Really. Do I?)

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ~ Oscar Wilde 

Photo: Wild horses near Socorro, N.M. Credit: Associated Press



Filed under On Dreaming, On Life, On Writing

A Note to the Empty Page

“Writing is a struggle against silence.” ~ Carlos Fuentes

I sit here, my expression as blank as the sprawling white before me… the emptiness that has haunted my nights for the past month yawns into an abyss of never ending eternity. Words dance before my eyes and tease my mind yet refuse to get in line and flow with creative verbosity onto the page… instead, they hide in crevices created by life stresses and soon an overwhelming desire tempts me to just walk away. I am here and there, back and forth, up and down – every which way but clichéd loose… So many good ideas want to be at the top of the list yet I am loathe to let them creep there in case I lose myself in them and neglect some other duty or responsibility. But in refusing to accept their inevitability, I fight them and, alas, get nothing constructive done.

I could write about my week and my accomplishments and in that I might find comfort. The places I have been and yet others I could not go. I could write about the joys which filled me yet falter with an explanation about how I don’t feel fulfilled; I could share the happy times had with friends and the meeting of other wonderful people yet true happiness eludes me; I could recall the loving memories and haunting pasts revisited; I could admit I am trying to do too much – tongue in cheek – as I hold my hand out to take more; I could smile through tears and boldly stride ahead despite my fears.

There is no need to worry – for in me is the strength to move forward despite the weight of emotional baggage. I am here. Through all these things there winds a common thread upon the silver lining of hope: I feel, therefore, I live.


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Feature and Follow

Connecting with other Writers - As a writer, being in a somewhat lonely craft, it is imperative to make connections, when possible, to others who share your passion. The commitment to the written word is best known to others who spend their time immersed within the aura of creativity. The blogging world is one such place to find a friendly, encouraging sort - reading, writing, sharing, and following... is what makes this community connected.

Feature & Follow Friday is a blog hop that is designed to provide some much-appreciated exposure to the bloggers participating, and to expand their following. Hosted by Parajunkee and Alison Can Read, each of whom feature a chosen blog for the week, it’s an interesting way to get to know one another.

Please take the time to read and follow my blog and I, in turn, will read and follow yours.

Thank you to those who read and already follow; I appreciate your support and comments, when time permits.

Keep on reading, and writing!


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Whirling Words

“My thoughts are whirled like a potter’s wheel.”

~William Shakespeare (‘Henry VI’, Part I, Act I, scene 5)


creativity at hand


 When I first came across this quote by Shakespeare, his words crossed my mind briefly in context to my own whirling thoughts and I mused, wow, now doesn’t that just say it all! But respect and reflection drew me to the actual meaning of the words in relation to his play, where whilst in the midst of battling factions, dying compatriots, tumultuous times befalling – Henry’s mind is overwrought and overwhelmed, to say the least.

I am reluctant to compare death and dying, dear Will, to my own mind and number in like-fashion all the deeds that must fall. Oh, yes, there is crowding and mayhem, pulling and pushing of thoughts, ideas, and things to be done, each with their own priority and urgency. I am reluctant to compare my writer’s mind to the battlefield of days long past, yet…

The quote brings to my mind a precariously balanced whirling plate, filled to the edges with a big lump of life to be molded, juggled and manhandled, pumped and kneaded. We go forth on our journey with goals in mind, keeping to daily task, all the while dreaming big. But what often begins as a festering, oozing dollop in the centre of that spinning mass soon becomes a thing of beauty, an accomplishment, a glistening treasure. It takes shape, is given depth and meaning, it has a use and is presented to the world to fill place of honor, whether decoration for the hearth or desire’s fulfillment for the heart.

The quote’s image brings to mind another Bardism, ‘these are but wild and whirling words’ and although more akin to the writer’s mind, we still may be slow to compare –  for these words are from Hamlet and the mind of another soul overwhelmed with angst and guilt…

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Life’s Lessons

To a writer, the impact of an event is significant to our craft. Based on this effect, we word sculpt a rendering of it in our minds, then record it in our journals, on our blogs, in letters, as poetry, use it in writing projects, or in some other written form we store it as a keepsake. It is a reminder of the way we saw it happen. It also provides research from which to draw at intervals along our writing journey. Over the course of our career, we have opportunity to experience many events; we meet people who have a purpose in our life; we have also heard the adage “write what you know.” Memories from events that happen to us, or with us, or around us and people we meet for a “reason, a season, or a lifetime” are the basis for this knowledge.

While attending a graduation ceremony the other night, a myriad of thoughts passed through my mind, but as a writer I was drawn to the words spoken throughout the night. They were given as accolades to the accomplishments of the year; they were shared as encouragement to fledgling citizens about to embark on the next steps of their journey; they were confirmation that the expected, although a long time in coming, was now upon us and would soon become a memory. Hearing these words, not only allowed me to reflect on the current situation – Sabrina’s graduation ceremony – it naturally expanded in my mind to encompass the graduating class and those around me; it took me back to my own daughter’s commencement in 2003, and ventured further back to my own in 1975. Those words of encouragement given were not unique to the night even though their focus was on this school, this class, this year…

The universality of the message directed to these grads focused on today and what was truly important to them, yet those same words have been delivered to every class and every year, past – and will certainly be delivered to future classes with the same bravado.  They did, however, single out this event’s importance in the passage of time. They recorded it as not just a beginning, but also an end. The experience would be happy and bittersweet, the outcome expected and unexpected, its completion freeing and overwhelming, its direction planned yet unknown. The future holds in store the same offering as it did, and will, for everyone – dreams are out there to be discovered, even if in the asking you don’t know quite what they are yet. The success of one’s future will be based on what you gain from your experience and all is dependent upon the choices you make. Memories and experience, good or bad, are created with each passing.

Significant events and people we encounter during our life provide the basis for memories. Some memories we covet fondly, bringing them out to experience their joy, over and over again. Sad memories are also held within that reservoir although we much prefer to keep them covered and hidden. It may seem, in retrospect, that we hold on to them with as much reverence as we do the happy ones. However bad their recovery, they create a connectedness we are sometimes reluctant to release.

Reference was made to a graduation speech that defined the friendship you have with yourself as being the most important relationship to invest in and foster. After all, you will spend each and every day with you. If you are not your best friend and truly love yourself, you will be spending a lot of time with someone you don’t like. Is that the basis of a good relationship? Everyone, not only new graduates, needs to discover the person they are, and in that process, like that person. Who you are is not defined by what you have; it is based on the contribution you make to the greater good and the legacy you leave behind.

The world can be overwhelming, scary, confusing – little comfort is gleaned from the fact that others have gone the way before you – your concerns, your dreams, your direction, your story – is your own and no one can tell you the best path to take. Whether a new graduate, a life veteran, or a writer working on a story, the world is your oyster – take the pearl, learn from the experience, and create your own jewel to pass along.


Filed under On Dreaming, On Life, On Thinking, On Writing

NOT Buried Under the Snow

In checking out my blog archives, I came across this partial post saved as a draft. At first, I wondered why I didn’t post it… but given the tone, I can probably assume the why by knowing how that year ended up compared to 2011 that just assumed passing. I thought I’d revive it by using the content as fodder for my first blog discussion of the New Year and as a comparative as I reflect, just a little.

It read:

“It’s the middle of December and I’m tired and lacking in the festive spirit with no real panic setting in despite not having any shopping done to speak of… It is, however, the kind of thing that is closely related to the ‘no money to speak of.’  This is something, I’ll have to admit, is nothing new and plagues me as an ongoing problem/issue/fault. It seems that when I get a couple of dollars ahead of the bills, a new reason to spend it crops up, or I move…

“I can say though, with some verbosity, that words have not been as scarce and I appreciate the investment my muse placed in me. Oh, I write about ‘not being able to write’ but really, this is not the case – it is making time and just giving it the time it needs that is the real concern – if we approach the ‘problem’ with honesty. My piece shared at my writer’s Christmas party lamented the challenges and stress of coming up with something new and exciting, laced with an attempt at humorous cheer and seasonal emotions. It was how I was feeling at that moment even though just weeks before I was immersed in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and the words came as water from a spring fed well…”

Those who know me will laugh to themselves, thinking ‘nothing’s changed,’ but in all sincerity… so much has changed. The first obvious difference from last year (actually, the last two years) is that no one is seriously ill. The family got together this year to celebrate at my sister’s on Christmas Eve and it was a most enjoyable time. Another obvious difference is that we are most certainly not buried under the snow we had last year, thank goodness! I know Kelsey will echo that sentiment having been hired onto the crew of a landscaping business and winter is snow removal. Being able to drive anywhere during the month of December was a welcome change. Money was not too much of an issue this year although I am not in any way financially sounder than year’s past. There is no special significant other to spend nights with…

The positive feelings about this new year have to do with the way things have worked out for my business and the ongoing support I receive from family, friends, and industry colleagues. My writing journey, as many of you know, now involves not only creating my own words but also promoting and helping to publish the words of others. It has been gratifying, to say the least, to work in this capacity. Considering the number of inquiries and discussions I have already had leading up to the New Year, 2012 looks to be following in the same wonderful footsteps as 2011.

Our writers group also achieved recognition and passed milestones including the award of Pride of Strathcona in the Arts & Culture category, and the 10 year celebration of our Writers Circle with the launch of a book (From a Solitary Drop – The History of the Strathcona County Writers Circle 2001 – 2011) published by my company, Dream Write Publishing.

Personally, I continue my blogging, albeit a bit sparse in comparison to previous years; I administer several web sites by updating content and posts; I sporadically write Saturday Writing Prompts on our writer’s web site; I finished the first draft of the novel Power Struggle; I finished the first draft of the novella A Journey of Brothers; I wrote another 30,000 on my current novel project An Elizabethan Affair. I was warned to stay away from National Novel Writing Month but didn’t listen and this year fell short in completing the monthly goal for November, however, am working to surpass that expectation by the end of January. I have worked with my wonderful writing friends on projects, conferences, meetings, book publishing, and so much more.

My company post suggested we remember what we wrote; reminisce a little about what we didn’t but move on to dream a lot and write what we are supposed to write. As I look forward to 2012, I am encouraged and elated by the potential that exists, not only for me but for others who I know and those I will come to know over the course of this journey. There will always be something we don’t have or something we didn’t do, but that only makes trying all the more rewarding.

Dream big. Achieve a little at a time and always move forward. Although cliché, it is important to remember that there is always a way where there is a will. This year, make it your mantra to say…

“I will.”

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Christmas Sharing

My Christmas sharing piece is reflective…

My lack of anxiety in writing this inspires me…

My writing is, therefore, relaxed, introspective, and inspired…

This year, there is no internal anxiety or push to get “something” written just for the sake of writing. I will admit, over the course of a few desperate days, there were visions of dried out sugar plums dancing in my head as the time wore on and opportunity grew short. It behooves me to report there is no catchy ditty to tempt your ear or polished poignant prose to elicit a tear. There is no directive to save the world or feed all the children however appropriate in the bigger scope of things this might be… There is no attempt to occupy your mind with outrageous demands claiming you listen and make change, whether warranted or not. No. There is but a short piece to share my views and feelings of the past year. It was simply as if my muse knew what I would want and would allow it to come to me when it was needed. Despite the free range this piece could attain, there are merely a few highlights I would like to touch on, as I direct my creative spirit into the realm of logical musings. Take heed of that magic, for these few points have been the mainstay of my writing year:

Friends… Here we are at our annual gathering to celebrate the holiday season with writing and fellowship – for me, there is no better combination because holidays are a time to bring together family and friends, feast and festivity. This party is not like others; for it is something that also celebrates a passion and a connection we all know and feel as writers. Unlike most obligatory work-related or family events, I look forward to this gathering as I do any writing-related meeting and although it is social in its purpose, there is no greater gift than the association I have with my writing friends. In fact, many of the friendships I hold dear to my heart, have developed from this very fellowship and those who are intended to be lifelong friends will remain so – within and without the writing circle.

Words… Whoever they are, they say you should write what you know. Well, what I know is that there have been no lack of words for me this year, no matter the topic or my level of expertise. I believe a writer can write many things “they know” because there is no end to a writer’s experience (past, present, imaginative, or ongoing) or the ability to continue learning. Several of my works sit awaiting final edit or additional input – they are my words and they are important to me and will become published works in the upcoming months. And while on the topic of words – I must admit – there have been times this year when I was at a loss for words, too. It is my belief, that if we do what we love and be who we truly are, we exist without expectation of reward or accolade. I must thank all the powers that be, for the year has been gracious in its heartfelt gratitude and acceptance as I have personally, professionally, publicly and privately received some of the kindest, most wondrous words ever from numerous sources. Those words will live on inside me and drive me to do more of what I love to do.

Deadlines… I have encountered a few over the past several months and the rush to meet them garnered some late nights – okay, early mornings. But, all said and done, I wouldn’t change a thing for it propelled me toward achieving the goals and dreams I hold dear. Meeting that auspicious date with a submission is part of the writing life, part of the publishing industry, and a formidable catalyst for the passion of writing. Now, as I stare down the end of the year with but a few dwindling days, I know there will be no end to the madness that lives within and embrace that expectation.

Commitments… I have many I will admit, but try to own up to the responsibility attached to each and every one of them, to the best of my ability, in whatever capacity I am allowed. In keeping those commitments, I am not only fulfilling my obligation to do so but I am finding my purpose here on earth. This year saw celebration for the accomplishments of friends and of our wonderful writing group; it saw success for my own business and that of others; it had hope and, in general, happiness. It had its conflict and hard decisions, too, for nothing would be worth the effort if it were easy. I stopped wearing a watch somewhere along the way and although I am frequently late, I am privileged and honored to arrive as I should to be a part of the journey. 

Friends, Words, Deadlines, Commitments… It would appear there is no rest for the driven but these four components comprise part of the substance of my writing life and contribute to the person I am and the accomplishments I am destined to achieve. There is no greater reward for me than to be able to say I doing what I am supposed to be doing and all is “write” with my world.  

So with all and without, I wish you the merriest of Christmas’s and happiest of all New Years, and I will close with a quote by Henry S. Haskins:

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to that which lies within us.”

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Expectation – this writer’s definition

Expectations, great or otherwise, live within us and whether they are the matter of our daily grind that we suppose to be so just as a manner of process or whether they are the passion based dreams that live inside of our hearts and souls, expectations are hard to sell as being more than just inflated prospects.

ex·pec·ta·tion (ek-spk-ta-shun) n. 1. a. The act of expecting. b. Eager anticipation: as in… eyes shining with expectation. 2. The state of being expected. 3. a. Something expected: often expressed as a result that did not live up to expectations. b. expectations Prospects, especially of success or gain.

The dictionary meaning, in its blunt defining presentation, delineates the act from the emotion although in its very expression, “expectation” encourages one to think in terms of positive outcomes – the word itself has a lofty sound with an abundance of confirming syllables, ending with the soothing sound of “shun” even though it starts out with a bold and barefaced “ex.” When considering “expectations” perhaps one should take into account the ratio of expected results from the probability of assumed projections and not get so caught up in the let down if it doesn’t measure up. Being human, we know all too well the feeling that results from the negative if things don’t live up to our “expectations” or go as planned. As adults we can segregate the assumption from the probable and in being adults we know that we don’t always get the results we “expect” even if they are nonetheless disappointing. As dreamers, however, we often hand our lives over to those “great expectations” because we hope there is an exchange bestowed upon us when we put ourselves out to bestow upon others.

In my life and in my writing, I find that my expectations transcend normal limits and I am often reminded by those who don’t like to see me hurt, that “everything is not always possible” and, although I accept my limitations as a mere mortal, I continue to dole out more expectations onto my plate – second and third helpings – as if starved for accomplishment. It is not in my personal accomplishments that I succumb to the negative results of failed expectations – it is other’s work and their dreams that push me to ensure that “expectations” are met and delivered as promised. In my over indulgence, I do expect too much of myself and try to deliver as promised, but in doing so, I depend on others for submissions to those areas where I lack ability. My error in doing this is not in the reliance of others, for delegation is the basis of effective management, but in the expectation that they care as much as I do about the positive results of the effort. This match, or rather, mismatch is the pause for my concern regarding expectations.

I have encountered this dilemma over the course of my life in many ways: with relationships, for example. An argument presented to me for not expecting so much of someone is countered with why can’t I expect a lot from someone, especially if you have professed your love or devotion to that one particular individual. Really, is “expectation” too much to expect? I am guilty of expecting too much from people, and it isn’t that most people don’t deliver in their own way; it’s just not in ways I would expect. Am I being too demanding? I expected to be married “until death do us part” but I also expected that arguments could be resolved, that a child would come first, and that someone would eventually grow up. Didn’t happen. I will admit that there are things that were expected of me, too, by others that did not turn out as they had expected. I would hope, of late, these are not the norm. I do believe my level is set much higher and what I expect of myself far outweighs what anyone expects of me.

November – I expect to complete another novel; I expect to write on my blogs; I expect to update web site content and other writing work; I expect to review and read and write and meet and work and eat and drink and sleep and visit and council and edit and walk and drive and therefore fall short somewhere along the line. BUT these are the things I expect of me, for me – they will be done or they will be sacrificed if it means that others expectations are in any way threatened.

And as any reader of these rant-atious verbacious displays would expect – they eventually come to an end – and you would be right, therefore, I live up to your expectations, this time…

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