I Read a Quote

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” ~ Victor Hugo

Several days have passed since my last blog, in fact, several days have lapsed again without a journal entry. It is not that words do not live within me and it is not that I do not long to let them go – it is the reality of life, at times, that prevents me from releasing them all too soon. I can go off all crazed like, writing and writing and writing, but in the act I set goals for myself I cannot keep – at least not right now. Lately, my creative self can be found wrapped up in emotional blankets, too content and warm and afraid to throw them aside. I have lots to share, to say, to write, to do… and it is in that confusion of everything there lies the desire to do nothing. The overwhelming all-consuming wish that it all didn’t exist as it has turned out. I am not a defeatist; I don’t wallow in pity and beg for another chance; but I do just keep scraping it all in a pile until that pile is so high it offends me and it has the nerve to eventually fall over smothering me with guilt and shame and sadness. These moments are a part of me and how things happen and how I deal. Thankfully they don’t last long and I am not destined to be someone who succumbs to their self-inflicted wounds. The moods seem to dissipate into the mist that is life. When I come across a quote, such as the one above by Victor Hugo – I pull myself up and go forward. Because in all the emotion and turmoil, I am a dreamer and I am a writer. I know I design my own future by following my dreams and achieving my goals.



Filed under On Life, On Thinking, On Writing

7 responses to “I Read a Quote

  1. Excellent writing today. Thank you so much for sharing it. I
    really enjoyed reading it very much. Have a wonderful day!

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    • wildhorse33

      Thank you.

      • PrincessBluepoet

        I can feel your lonelyness and that feeling of not being able to organize and do anything. For me it was a restless – don’t know what I want kind of feeling. Be kind to yourself and pamper you – for sure wrap up in that soft warm blanky and take time out to heal your soul!
        No two people grieve in

      • PrincessBluepoet

        Not sure what happened but it would not let me finish. As I was trying to say no two people grieve in exactly the same way or time frame! Do what you need to do for “special” you! Hugs and Prayers.

  2. I tend to grieve with people when they express their emotions, so I am doing that with you as I type this (a tear or two surfaces). The one thing that struck me was the words guilt & shame. If there is one thing I learned, it’s to give myself the courtesy I would others when they grieve. I would love to see you do that for yourself too. I may have mentioned it, but it took me 6 months to write again after someone I lost. What I’m saying is, there is no need for guilt or shame because this can happen to anyone when they grieve, as it did me. I don’t know if you have faith in the beyond, but I got a sign from my loved one at that 6 month point that helped me to get on with it. If you have this kind of faith, keep your heart and mind open. It will come. Blessings to you.

    • wildhorse33

      You are such a dear sweet writer to share such words of comfort – I am fortunate in my friends and that is what will help me through the most 🙂 Thank you for pointing out the thing I know in my heart is wrong – to feel shame or guilt for allowing things to slide, allowing things to be a little less diligent or important… because… in the big picture, they are, just that – not as important. I have faith in my mother’s beliefs – I don’t believe in God but believe there is some continuation to life after death, in whatever way that might be. I watch for the signs that she is okay and in that, I will take comfort. It’s just hard being hit with the realizations that “she’s not here.”

      • Oh, yes, it’s so difficult to explain, that sensation of them “not here.” It’s so empty. I lost my sense of direction. It’s like they’re our compass or something. Anyway, you are welcome to email me if you need to talk.

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