I Read a Quote

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” ~ Victor Hugo

Several days have passed since my last blog, in fact, several days have lapsed again without a journal entry. It is not that words do not live within me and it is not that I do not long to let them go – it is the reality of life, at times, that prevents me from releasing them all too soon. I can go off all crazed like, writing and writing and writing, but in the act I set goals for myself I cannot keep – at least not right now. Lately, my creative self can be found wrapped up in emotional blankets, too content and warm and afraid to throw them aside. I have lots to share, to say, to write, to do… and it is in that confusion of everything there lies the desire to do nothing. The overwhelming all-consuming wish that it all didn’t exist as it has turned out. I am not a defeatist; I don’t wallow in pity and beg for another chance; but I do just keep scraping it all in a pile until that pile is so high it offends me and it has the nerve to eventually fall over smothering me with guilt and shame and sadness. These moments are a part of me and how things happen and how I deal. Thankfully they don’t last long and I am not destined to be someone who succumbs to their self-inflicted wounds. The moods seem to dissipate into the mist that is life. When I come across a quote, such as the one above by Victor Hugo – I pull myself up and go forward. Because in all the emotion and turmoil, I am a dreamer and I am a writer. I know I design my own future by following my dreams and achieving my goals.

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7 thoughts on “I Read a Quote

      1. PrincessBluepoet

        I can feel your lonelyness and that feeling of not being able to organize and do anything. For me it was a restless – don’t know what I want kind of feeling. Be kind to yourself and pamper you – for sure wrap up in that soft warm blanky and take time out to heal your soul!
        No two people grieve in

      2. PrincessBluepoet

        Not sure what happened but it would not let me finish. As I was trying to say no two people grieve in exactly the same way or time frame! Do what you need to do for “special” you! Hugs and Prayers.

  1. I tend to grieve with people when they express their emotions, so I am doing that with you as I type this (a tear or two surfaces). The one thing that struck me was the words guilt & shame. If there is one thing I learned, it’s to give myself the courtesy I would others when they grieve. I would love to see you do that for yourself too. I may have mentioned it, but it took me 6 months to write again after someone I lost. What I’m saying is, there is no need for guilt or shame because this can happen to anyone when they grieve, as it did me. I don’t know if you have faith in the beyond, but I got a sign from my loved one at that 6 month point that helped me to get on with it. If you have this kind of faith, keep your heart and mind open. It will come. Blessings to you.

    1. wildhorse33

      You are such a dear sweet writer to share such words of comfort – I am fortunate in my friends and that is what will help me through the most 🙂 Thank you for pointing out the thing I know in my heart is wrong – to feel shame or guilt for allowing things to slide, allowing things to be a little less diligent or important… because… in the big picture, they are, just that – not as important. I have faith in my mother’s beliefs – I don’t believe in God but believe there is some continuation to life after death, in whatever way that might be. I watch for the signs that she is okay and in that, I will take comfort. It’s just hard being hit with the realizations that “she’s not here.”

      1. Oh, yes, it’s so difficult to explain, that sensation of them “not here.” It’s so empty. I lost my sense of direction. It’s like they’re our compass or something. Anyway, you are welcome to email me if you need to talk.

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