“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” ~ Victor Hugo
Several days have passed since my last blog, in fact, several days have lapsed again without a journal entry. It is not that words do not live within me and it is not that I do not long to let them go – it is the reality of life, at times, that prevents me from releasing them all too soon. I can go off all crazed like, writing and writing and writing, but in the act I set goals for myself I cannot keep – at least not right now. Lately, my creative self can be found wrapped up in emotional blankets, too content and warm and afraid to throw them aside. I have lots to share, to say, to write, to do… and it is in that confusion of everything there lies the desire to do nothing. The overwhelming all-consuming wish that it all didn’t exist as it has turned out. I am not a defeatist; I don’t wallow in pity and beg for another chance; but I do just keep scraping it all in a pile until that pile is so high it offends me and it has the nerve to eventually fall over smothering me with guilt and shame and sadness. These moments are a part of me and how things happen and how I deal. Thankfully they don’t last long and I am not destined to be someone who succumbs to their self-inflicted wounds. The moods seem to dissipate into the mist that is life. When I come across a quote, such as the one above by Victor Hugo – I pull myself up and go forward. Because in all the emotion and turmoil, I am a dreamer and I am a writer. I know I design my own future by following my dreams and achieving my goals.