Here I sit, attempting to put order to the thoughts rushing around in my head, nine days into May and counting. We just got finished with our local writer’s conference held this past weekend and as with all events I participate in, there is somewhat of a recovery period to follow… I will not admit to getting old, just getting tired. My mind is strong though, and I would even go so far as to define it as versatile; like a large filing cabinet with deep drawers where lots of crap can be crammed into the corners, seeping up to the top edges, filling it to the brim. It’s all in there, somewhere. Order? Well, that’s another thing completely. I guarantee it’s in there and I know it’s in there, but don’t ask me to put it all on that nice little neat piece of paper so you’d know where to find it, too. Sit me in front of the necessary task and it comes out coherently, and most of the time, without hesitation. I guess that’s where I should take my cue that the cabinets are getting full and might automatically purge someday.
Oh, where would I be then?!!
And let’s not get into suggesting the revealing order of science and the propensity for things to work so much more efficiently if given some order. Or, provide them an order, lest they don’t already come with one. Let’s not quote and compare notes to say we remember this, that, or the other – some might not fair well, and then it might just be farewell to all.
I think my mind resembles the several desks I work on and the several books I write in and the several stacks of files and piles of notes I keep close at hand, one (or two) on each and every desk, and perhaps more with each and every journal. Again, there really is no order, except my own.
I often wonder when that sense of perfectionism left me. At one time, it was necessary to keep everything in its place because as we all know, everything has a place. Was it after “one too many” moves? Was it when I decided to heap the platter with “to-dos” higher than the edge of the receptacle itself? Was it when I went beyond mere memory testing to see exactly how much I could remember without the backup of written support? Was it… just because I got too busy to care about order and ordered more in the care of the end product?
Is that possible?
Today, I am just writing from my heart, or rather – my mind… letting it go where it sees fit and free-falling my way to a blog of some kind, hoping you are going to be interested in what my mind has to say on the matter of order. Perhaps, it won’t matter, and to me, that doesn’t matter, either. For in the natural order of things, in the context of the big picture, and all that is important in the world, this is not a test or testament to anything other than the power of words and our ability to spit them out in a somewhat coherent fashion.
There is some order in my life, because I would not be able to write all that I write, without it.