Expectations, great or otherwise, live within us and whether they are the matter of our daily grind that we suppose to be so just as a manner of process or whether they are the passion based dreams that live inside of our hearts and souls, expectations are hard to sell as being more than just inflated prospects.
ex·pec·ta·tion (ek-spk-ta-shun) n. 1. a. The act of expecting. b. Eager anticipation: as in… eyes shining with expectation. 2. The state of being expected. 3. a. Something expected: often expressed as a result that did not live up to expectations. b. expectations Prospects, especially of success or gain.
The dictionary meaning, in its blunt defining presentation, delineates the act from the emotion although in its very expression, “expectation” encourages one to think in terms of positive outcomes – the word itself has a lofty sound with an abundance of confirming syllables, ending with the soothing sound of “shun” even though it starts out with a bold and barefaced “ex.” When considering “expectations” perhaps one should take into account the ratio of expected results from the probability of assumed projections and not get so caught up in the let down if it doesn’t measure up. Being human, we know all too well the feeling that results from the negative if things don’t live up to our “expectations” or go as planned. As adults we can segregate the assumption from the probable and in being adults we know that we don’t always get the results we “expect” even if they are nonetheless disappointing. As dreamers, however, we often hand our lives over to those “great expectations” because we hope there is an exchange bestowed upon us when we put ourselves out to bestow upon others.
In my life and in my writing, I find that my expectations transcend normal limits and I am often reminded by those who don’t like to see me hurt, that “everything is not always possible” and, although I accept my limitations as a mere mortal, I continue to dole out more expectations onto my plate – second and third helpings – as if starved for accomplishment. It is not in my personal accomplishments that I succumb to the negative results of failed expectations – it is other’s work and their dreams that push me to ensure that “expectations” are met and delivered as promised. In my over indulgence, I do expect too much of myself and try to deliver as promised, but in doing so, I depend on others for submissions to those areas where I lack ability. My error in doing this is not in the reliance of others, for delegation is the basis of effective management, but in the expectation that they care as much as I do about the positive results of the effort. This match, or rather, mismatch is the pause for my concern regarding expectations.
I have encountered this dilemma over the course of my life in many ways: with relationships, for example. An argument presented to me for not expecting so much of someone is countered with why can’t I expect a lot from someone, especially if you have professed your love or devotion to that one particular individual. Really, is “expectation” too much to expect? I am guilty of expecting too much from people, and it isn’t that most people don’t deliver in their own way; it’s just not in ways I would expect. Am I being too demanding? I expected to be married “until death do us part” but I also expected that arguments could be resolved, that a child would come first, and that someone would eventually grow up. Didn’t happen. I will admit that there are things that were expected of me, too, by others that did not turn out as they had expected. I would hope, of late, these are not the norm. I do believe my level is set much higher and what I expect of myself far outweighs what anyone expects of me.
November – I expect to complete another novel; I expect to write on my blogs; I expect to update web site content and other writing work; I expect to review and read and write and meet and work and eat and drink and sleep and visit and council and edit and walk and drive and therefore fall short somewhere along the line. BUT these are the things I expect of me, for me – they will be done or they will be sacrificed if it means that others expectations are in any way threatened.
And as any reader of these rant-atious verbacious displays would expect – they eventually come to an end – and you would be right, therefore, I live up to your expectations, this time…