It comes not without its usual demands – December pushes into our lives and we all scurry about to put the finishing touches on whatever it is we plan to do or give by the time we need do it or have to give it. This time of the year has always been busy for me, as it is for most people, with families, jobs, hobbies and hopes.
It is not quite as busy as some years in the past because I gave up long ago trying to push myself into making my own – gifts, baking, or entertaining – because quite frankly, it is very stressful and given my body’s reaction of late to the ensuing cold weather, it is more than mindful stress, it’s physical stress as well. I have over the last few years given up on several things I wanted to do, freeing up much more time for the things I need to do. This year finds me behind on the card making so I just bought some little cheap ones that will do the trick – not meaning that the message is not important, but rather, implying that it is more important than the package it is carried in. I will remember, and if I give myself enough time next year, there will be wildhorse created cards for all special occasions. It’s just making it important enough to be done.
I have come to a decision this December to get some things under my control again like words, weight and wealth with the help of a friend who is under as many pressures and is as overwhelmed at times, as I am. I try not to be – just do it, I say – but I do realize this pressure gets to me when I have to decide that in order to complete promised things I have to give up something else or make compromises that should not be made. I try to limit what it is I offer to do but you cannot foresee other events that will hit you like a ton of bricks and then you are blindsided, left to pick up and move on when you decide to do so.
It is this decision, this “pact” that will get me through and on to another new year. It is a difficult time because I struggle with some things that will only be reduced if I decide to do something concrete about them. I love writing – so that is am important part of every day. I love living – so I must get my weight issue under control before it has an even more detrimental affect on my health. I love to have the freedom to do the things I want to do – so I must get my financial situation under control.
This year has not been with its usual “linda” up’s and down’s… I moved again. I am still single and depressed about being alone. I am still overweight and although knowing that it affects my overall being did nothing to try to address it, hence, the “december decision.” Let’s not wait until the New Year’s resolutions roll out to party promises at the 12:00 o’clock toll. Let’s get these things looked at and get a plan going now. Time to start feeling better about myself.
I need to seriously think about it…then “just do it.”